Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Victor Chang Cardiac Fund - Messages
The Victor Chang Cardiac fund that was setup in honour of Jai closed early December - a total of $2355 was donated by friends and family to aid future cardiac research efforts. Attached is a summary of the messages associated with the donations - once again testament to all the friends worldwide with whom Jai clearly left a lasting impression.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Brian Cox Eulogy
Jai Coker Eulogy – By Brian Cox – 5/11/09
I would be hard pressed to talk about Jai without also talking about Karate. So I am not going to try to separate the two.
Jai and I first came into contact during 1987. I had recently started operating a Karate Club at the Taren Point Youth Centre and as a part of the start up process had put advertising flyers into the surrounding schools. Jai’s sister, Amber, as I have recently been informed, brought one of the flyers home and gave it to Jai. She did not realize it, at the time, but she had set the direction of the rest of his life,
I had the privilege of being Jai’s first Karate Teacher and his introduction to Karate. He trained exclusively at the Miranda RSL Youth Club, up to the grade of Third Kyu (Brown Belt) having already completed about two years of training to get to this grade. At this time I started to encourage him to train further afield. I saw this as good preparation for his inevitable Black Belt Grading. He accepted my advice and we started traveling to South Sydney Junior League Club( the then headquarters of Shotokan Karate International in Australia), every Saturday to train. I would pick him up from home, at about noon, and the rest of the day was spent with Karate people.
He quickly acclimatized to having so many Black Belts with which to train and finally did his First Dan Grading on 15th of May 1990. He did his Second Dan Grading, three years later and sometime in-between got the urge to visit Japan.
I must say at this point that Jai was a Karate Teacher’s dream come true. He rarely missed a training session and clearly had a passion for the art. He was shorter than me, for the first couple of years, even though he was sixteen when we first met. When he started training at South Sydney Juniors, many people thought he was much younger than he really was, Patricia Diaz commented the other night that she thought he was about twelve. The growth spurt struck at about the age of 18 or 19 although Pam Coker may have a better recollection. Karate suddenly became hard for Jai and his ability to do Karate kicks became almost non-existent, for more than a year. He obviously overcame these difficulties and grew into the Jai we came to know and love.
Before Jai left for Japan, I told him to follow his heart and mind, and train wherever he found good Karate. I wanted him to experience all that Karate has to offer, regardless of the organization. I did however tell him to always remember where home is. He got a bit confused on this point and ended up with a Karate Home in Japan and a Karate Home in Australia.
Jai ended up being a member of the two big Shotokan Karate Organizations. Japan Karate Association and Shotokan International Federation. He appeared to be able to operate freely and make friends within both organizations. I think this is a testament to his ability as a Karate-ka and his personality. I also think he may have been the envy of many people in this regard. Jai also made it to the SKIA National Team and represented Australia at World Championship Level. He had some success in the JKA All Japan Championships, which I believe he competed in on more than one occasion.
Even though he moved away from home, and explored his own path with Karate, he and I continued to have a strong relationship. We would exchange emails during his time in Japan and would always arrange to get together when he was back in Australia. He enjoyed sending me his Zen Quotation emails, although I think I was not the only one receiving them.
As fate would have it, I had an unexpected meeting with Jai on the Monday before his passing. I had decided to go to a special Karate session, at Randwick, and who should I run into but Jai. He appeared to be his usual self and before we parted insisted that we should get together for dinner in the very near future. I agreed and headed home, obviously not knowing that it would be the last conversation I would ever have with Jai Coker.
I have this comment from Terry Choi, with regard to the training session at Randwick.
“What fate that we had that last opportunity to train with him. I am most grateful that I did. In fact, I think every Black Belt that surrounded him, that Monday evening, would have first met him at South Sydney Juniors, when he came on a Saturday. Robert Mansberg, Robert Blaschek, Vickie Weekes, Georgette Dyett and myself. So those who trained that night, with him, were all from his pre-black belt days and from his early beginnings. Quite amazing when I think about it!’
Jai has touched many lives, during his now short life, and one of the comments I have heard over the past week, is that he was a Gentle Giant. One friend has referred to him as being a ‘Gentleman and a Gentle Man”. Some who did free fighting with him may not agree. But that’s Bodo (the way of martial arts).
I am deeply saddened by his passing. I will never again be able to meet him, shake his hand or train with him. The only consolation I have is the firm belief that he has gone to a better place. Jai could do nothing less!
I would be hard pressed to talk about Jai without also talking about Karate. So I am not going to try to separate the two.
Jai and I first came into contact during 1987. I had recently started operating a Karate Club at the Taren Point Youth Centre and as a part of the start up process had put advertising flyers into the surrounding schools. Jai’s sister, Amber, as I have recently been informed, brought one of the flyers home and gave it to Jai. She did not realize it, at the time, but she had set the direction of the rest of his life,
I had the privilege of being Jai’s first Karate Teacher and his introduction to Karate. He trained exclusively at the Miranda RSL Youth Club, up to the grade of Third Kyu (Brown Belt) having already completed about two years of training to get to this grade. At this time I started to encourage him to train further afield. I saw this as good preparation for his inevitable Black Belt Grading. He accepted my advice and we started traveling to South Sydney Junior League Club( the then headquarters of Shotokan Karate International in Australia), every Saturday to train. I would pick him up from home, at about noon, and the rest of the day was spent with Karate people.
He quickly acclimatized to having so many Black Belts with which to train and finally did his First Dan Grading on 15th of May 1990. He did his Second Dan Grading, three years later and sometime in-between got the urge to visit Japan.
I must say at this point that Jai was a Karate Teacher’s dream come true. He rarely missed a training session and clearly had a passion for the art. He was shorter than me, for the first couple of years, even though he was sixteen when we first met. When he started training at South Sydney Juniors, many people thought he was much younger than he really was, Patricia Diaz commented the other night that she thought he was about twelve. The growth spurt struck at about the age of 18 or 19 although Pam Coker may have a better recollection. Karate suddenly became hard for Jai and his ability to do Karate kicks became almost non-existent, for more than a year. He obviously overcame these difficulties and grew into the Jai we came to know and love.
Before Jai left for Japan, I told him to follow his heart and mind, and train wherever he found good Karate. I wanted him to experience all that Karate has to offer, regardless of the organization. I did however tell him to always remember where home is. He got a bit confused on this point and ended up with a Karate Home in Japan and a Karate Home in Australia.
Jai ended up being a member of the two big Shotokan Karate Organizations. Japan Karate Association and Shotokan International Federation. He appeared to be able to operate freely and make friends within both organizations. I think this is a testament to his ability as a Karate-ka and his personality. I also think he may have been the envy of many people in this regard. Jai also made it to the SKIA National Team and represented Australia at World Championship Level. He had some success in the JKA All Japan Championships, which I believe he competed in on more than one occasion.
Even though he moved away from home, and explored his own path with Karate, he and I continued to have a strong relationship. We would exchange emails during his time in Japan and would always arrange to get together when he was back in Australia. He enjoyed sending me his Zen Quotation emails, although I think I was not the only one receiving them.
As fate would have it, I had an unexpected meeting with Jai on the Monday before his passing. I had decided to go to a special Karate session, at Randwick, and who should I run into but Jai. He appeared to be his usual self and before we parted insisted that we should get together for dinner in the very near future. I agreed and headed home, obviously not knowing that it would be the last conversation I would ever have with Jai Coker.
I have this comment from Terry Choi, with regard to the training session at Randwick.
“What fate that we had that last opportunity to train with him. I am most grateful that I did. In fact, I think every Black Belt that surrounded him, that Monday evening, would have first met him at South Sydney Juniors, when he came on a Saturday. Robert Mansberg, Robert Blaschek, Vickie Weekes, Georgette Dyett and myself. So those who trained that night, with him, were all from his pre-black belt days and from his early beginnings. Quite amazing when I think about it!’
Jai has touched many lives, during his now short life, and one of the comments I have heard over the past week, is that he was a Gentle Giant. One friend has referred to him as being a ‘Gentleman and a Gentle Man”. Some who did free fighting with him may not agree. But that’s Bodo (the way of martial arts).
I am deeply saddened by his passing. I will never again be able to meet him, shake his hand or train with him. The only consolation I have is the firm belief that he has gone to a better place. Jai could do nothing less!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
From Kellie
Jai came into our lives when I advertised for a Remedial Massage Therapist to join our team in Brisbane. After him flying up for an interview I pretty much decided straight away that he was the right person to fill the position that I was offering. That decision turned out to be correct….our patients LOVED him! He had a rare ability to massage very deeply without causing TOO much pain. He seemed to feel his way into the deeper muscles and sensed exactly how much pressure to use for that particular patient for their particular problem. He also had the ability to work in silence, which patients really appreciated, as so many therapists feel the need for idle chatter which detracts from their patients massage experience.
There were more than a few ladies who developed quite a crush on Jai, most of whom were not his type, Bless him, but it was amusing to watch him handle all this unwanted attention! He did however always manage to diplomatically handle these awkward situations in a very professional manner. This attention was however quite profitable for him, as these eager female patients would return more and more for their massage sessions with him. They also often offered various social invitations to help him settle into Brisbane, however none of them were ever accepted. Instead he spent his free time going to the gym, training in Karate, visiting his Mum and Uncle, or going for solo bush walks. He climbed one of our highest mountains to be at the very top in time for sunrise. Most of us Queenslanders wouldn’t attempt that, not in our heat, but that didn’t stop Jai.
Jai was amazing with my son Zac… they had rough and tumble play that the two of them would thoroughly enjoy. He told me that he really was a big kid himself, and that he loved talking to kids because there was no need to make serious small talk. He could let his inner child out, play, and laugh, and have as much fun as the kids themselves. What a lovely trait. He would have made a great Dad.
When I fell pregnant and we found out we were going to have another little boy, Jai was delighted that we decided to call our little boy Jai. Yes, ‘Jai’ is a beautiful name, strong and masculine, but also for me, naming our boy after Jai also expressed my respect of ,and fondness for ,this special man. He would often check up on how I was going through my pregnancy “How’s little Jai going?”, and after little Jai was born he wrote “ Good job, a new and improved Jai in the world”. How sweet.
Then 3 weeks, to the day, after little Jai was born, our big Jai was gone. Like everyone who knew Jai, I was beyond shocked, I was, and am, devastated. Up until big Jai’s passing I had no trouble calling my little Jai by his name. But after big Jai’s passing, I find myself calling my little Jai with his middle name, “Jai Matthew” , as calling him just “Jai” makes me feel so sad, reminding me of big Jai who should still be with us all. This will pass in time, and I look forward to being able to call my little Jai by his first name alone, in memory of the amazing man he was named after.
We really miss you Jai, you were an inspiration to so many people. I hope little Jai will enjoy Karate when he is older, you never know, he may do your name proud.
There were more than a few ladies who developed quite a crush on Jai, most of whom were not his type, Bless him, but it was amusing to watch him handle all this unwanted attention! He did however always manage to diplomatically handle these awkward situations in a very professional manner. This attention was however quite profitable for him, as these eager female patients would return more and more for their massage sessions with him. They also often offered various social invitations to help him settle into Brisbane, however none of them were ever accepted. Instead he spent his free time going to the gym, training in Karate, visiting his Mum and Uncle, or going for solo bush walks. He climbed one of our highest mountains to be at the very top in time for sunrise. Most of us Queenslanders wouldn’t attempt that, not in our heat, but that didn’t stop Jai.
Jai was amazing with my son Zac… they had rough and tumble play that the two of them would thoroughly enjoy. He told me that he really was a big kid himself, and that he loved talking to kids because there was no need to make serious small talk. He could let his inner child out, play, and laugh, and have as much fun as the kids themselves. What a lovely trait. He would have made a great Dad.
When I fell pregnant and we found out we were going to have another little boy, Jai was delighted that we decided to call our little boy Jai. Yes, ‘Jai’ is a beautiful name, strong and masculine, but also for me, naming our boy after Jai also expressed my respect of ,and fondness for ,this special man. He would often check up on how I was going through my pregnancy “How’s little Jai going?”, and after little Jai was born he wrote “ Good job, a new and improved Jai in the world”. How sweet.
Then 3 weeks, to the day, after little Jai was born, our big Jai was gone. Like everyone who knew Jai, I was beyond shocked, I was, and am, devastated. Up until big Jai’s passing I had no trouble calling my little Jai by his name. But after big Jai’s passing, I find myself calling my little Jai with his middle name, “Jai Matthew” , as calling him just “Jai” makes me feel so sad, reminding me of big Jai who should still be with us all. This will pass in time, and I look forward to being able to call my little Jai by his first name alone, in memory of the amazing man he was named after.
We really miss you Jai, you were an inspiration to so many people. I hope little Jai will enjoy Karate when he is older, you never know, he may do your name proud.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Thankyou
Hello All,
I just wanted to express my thanks to ALL of you who are keeping Jai alive with your fond memories of times with Jai and for all your beautiful words. Thankyou to Steve and Luisa for setting up this site for Jai and for our family and for his friends. It's much appreciated and for setting up the Victor Chang Everyday Hero idea from Luisa and Steve.
I've been avoiding the website still trying to come to terms with Jai not here physically with us but will myself start downloading some of my memories that I shared with Jaibro as his sister. I feel so lucky to have had a brother like Jai and to see the respect he had from so many people and how many hearts he touched still everyday overwhelms me. I'm so proud of him.
Your words, your photos, your memories are all appreciated by me and my family and it all helps in the grieving process which we are all still trying to come to terms with.
In honour of Jai I am going to start karate lessons and would like to stay close to his karate family as much as I can.
Thanks again.................may our gentle giant live and reside in our hearts for the rest of time..............Love you sooooooooooooooooo much Jaibro........See you on the other side.
Love Amber x
I just wanted to express my thanks to ALL of you who are keeping Jai alive with your fond memories of times with Jai and for all your beautiful words. Thankyou to Steve and Luisa for setting up this site for Jai and for our family and for his friends. It's much appreciated and for setting up the Victor Chang Everyday Hero idea from Luisa and Steve.
I've been avoiding the website still trying to come to terms with Jai not here physically with us but will myself start downloading some of my memories that I shared with Jaibro as his sister. I feel so lucky to have had a brother like Jai and to see the respect he had from so many people and how many hearts he touched still everyday overwhelms me. I'm so proud of him.
Your words, your photos, your memories are all appreciated by me and my family and it all helps in the grieving process which we are all still trying to come to terms with.
In honour of Jai I am going to start karate lessons and would like to stay close to his karate family as much as I can.
Thanks again.................may our gentle giant live and reside in our hearts for the rest of time..............Love you sooooooooooooooooo much Jaibro........See you on the other side.
Love Amber x
Monday, November 16, 2009
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